The following quotations come from individuals who had either successfully completed a course of therapy within the Prevention Network “Kein Täter werden”, or who were engaged in the therapy at the time of the interview. All personal information - name, age, profession – have been anonymized for publication on this website.
Ralph, 38, director
The catalyst for my coming here is an assault I made on a girl over the internet. I asked her to send me pictures and that was the point that made me think, no, that’s enough, it can’t go on like this.
Sven, 45, teacher
It did come to an assault in the end, and afterwards it was clear to me that I’d crossed a line, even if nothing much had happened. In the weeks after that I had the feeling more and more that everything was slipping out of control. And then there was the disciplinary action and the relocation. I could finally actively address my problem. I looked for help again and finally I found it. I was at a point where I went into my therapy full of enthusiasm and commitment. The first analysis on the telephone triggered my motivation: finally someone was asking the right questions, and at last someone was able to give a name for my problem.
Stefan, 36, sound engineer
At the advice of my wife, I voluntarily admitted myself to the clinic for forensic psychiatry for observation. It was the best thing that could have happened to me. I had the opportunity there to speak with people who wanted to help me for the first time in my life, and that for nearly three weeks until my discharge! I was given the information for various contact points and treatment options. That’s where I learned about the project for the first time.
Moritz, 58, orchestra musician
An acquaintance told me about the project. I phoned and immediately got an appointment for an anonymous individual conversation with a psychiatrist. Then there were more talkks, then multiple meetings of an “info group” with others affected by these issues. Right from the start, it was a big relief to finally be able to speak openly about this taboo subject without being rejected or judged by someone because of my sexual preference.
Manuel, 33, computer scientist
It had actually always been clear to me that I needed help. In spite of that, for the longest time I was unable to work up the nerve to talk to someone about it. The topic was simply too great a taboo. I first sent an email to the “Kein Täter Werden” project, and then came a telephone conversation, and then about two weeks later an in-person discussion with a therapist.
Ralph, 38, director
This therapy here was the last option I could see. I finally sent an email over and got an appointment that same week, where I could finally express myself for the first time. That was the big issue: Who can I trust? Speaking about it for the first time wasn’t easy, especially since I’m not the type to talk about my feelings all the time. It’s really hard, but it’s also a relief, as I’d been carrying that around with me for years. And then suddenly there is someone there who doesn’t right away tell me that I’m the scum of the earth. Someone who really knows all about the topic. That’s really important.
Bernhard, 44, advisor
It was clear to me that I would need help if I wanted to live a somewhat normal life. At first I thought there could be no help out there for me. That I would have to fight it on my own, pull myself together. I had heard or read something about this project somewhere – I don’t know where anymore. Then I searched the internet and found the telephone number. I rang them, although it took a bit of an effort. On the other end of the line was a very nice, understanding person. Then I went to my first appointment. I was really worked up, as I didn’t know how the people there would react. Would they make accusations, insult me? Tell me that I am a pervert? But my fears were unfounded. The professionals were very nice and ready to help. It was a relief to be able to talk about it.
Günther, 55, long-distance lorry driver
I was of the opinion that I had all that under relatively good control. Then my family found out and they told me that I needed help and would have to do something about it. I agreed and finally realized that I do indeed need help. You think you have it all under control, even though it’s not true at all. I am happy that I could be admitted to the project.
Bernhard, 44, advisor
Before the first session I had so many thoughts going through my mind. What sort of people will be there? Might I possibly know one of them? What do they think of me? Can I really say anything? Will they lock me up when they hear about the things I’ve done?